For years, I avoided doing Tarot readings because I was terrified of The Tower Tarot Card. Every time I shuffled, cut and picked a card, I’d feel a wave of anxiety. My mind would race, convinced that I’d draw the Tower Card. Of course, this fear only made The Tower Card appear more often, leaving me caught in a cycle of dread.

I was also unable to read The Tower Card clearly because of my fear. I was unable to take account of surrounding cards or the placement of the card in the spread. The fear I felt disrupted both my logic and my intuition, so I was unable to see the guidance I was being offered. When my fear was in control, I couldn’t see the bigger picture or let my intuition guide me.

In All of our stories, Beth Maiden says of The Tower, ‘One thing is for sure: life will never be the same again’. I’ve had times like that in my life before and I wasn’t ready to feel that fear and pain again.

Eventually, I stopped using tarot altogether and gave away my Tarot cards. I turned to other forms of divination, like oracle cards and runes, but I still felt that pull toward Tarot. I truly wanted to use it without fear.

Facing up to my Fear

Then, one day, I asked myself: why am I so afraid of The Tower card? I know—it took me long enough to get there! I realised The Tower was showing up not because my life was about to fall apart, but to ask me why I was constantly afraid that my life would fall apart!

Looking back, I see that I’d come to associate the Tower with major losses—losing my mum and my husband’s brain haemorrhage. I believed that drawing the Tower would mean losing someone I loved, either permanently or temporarily. Oddly, I was never quite as afraid of the Death card.

Now, I see that was an overreaction. I began to see that my fear of The Tower showed me where a lot of my inner blocks and shadow traits were hiding. It showed me places in my life where I was desperately shoring up the tower when, perhaps, I should just let it fall. Times when it really was right to let a situation tumble to the ground to clear the space for something new.

The Meaning of The Tower Tarot Card

Just as the Death card isn’t about literal death, the Tower doesn’t always mean devastating change. The Tower often represents a shift, and while it can signify loss, it’s rarely as simple or severe as I’d feared. The Tower card often reveals hidden truths or breaks down old structures, physical, mental or spiritual, to make way for new growth. It sometimes highlights where it might be right to let something go, to clear space for something new.

While The Tower card does often represent unexpected and often disruptive change—like a lightning bolt that breaks down long-standing structures. It also signifies moments when what we’ve relied upon or built up suddenly collapses, revealing truths or perspectives we may have avoided. The Tower often shakes things up to help us see what no longer serves us, clearing out stagnant energy or illusions and making space for transformation.

Though it can seem intense, this card isn’t always negative; it can indicate a breakthrough or a release from restrictive situations. It invites us to confront fears and step forward with resilience, knowing that the disruption will lead to deeper clarity and authenticity in the long run.

My Return to The Tarot

After this realisation, I went back to the Tarot, but slowly, focusing on one card at a time. I worked with smaller spreads to practice working out how the cards interacted with one another, using my intuition alongside insights from books and online resources. Gradually, I built a new relationship with The Tarot.

I still don’t read the cards well. I still sometimes get overwhelmed and in a muddle, but I’m no longer afraid of any card. Reading tarot is about building a relationship with the Divine Source or your Higher Self. It can be about preparing for the future, but more often it is about learning from the past and seen more clearly what is going on right now.

The Tower Tarot Card offered me a route into healing and now that my fear isn’t getting in the way, I can see its guidance more clearly, feel it’s healing power, and creative vision of the future I want to build.

Now I just need to get to know the Ten of Swords!!!

Are there any Tarot cards that you struggle with? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below

Blessed be

Eva x